Tuesday, February 14, 2012

De Los Angeles


[[ This is the rough draft to an essay I'm working on for my english class. It's a creative non-fiction essay. Let me know what you guys think about it so far ^_^ ]]


De Los Angeles
The room was cold, ice cold. It felt empty. It felt more like a morgue, than a hospital. As I sat up on the hospital bed, I couldn’t help but to think something terrible was about to happen. The goose bumps tingled through every inch of my body. I could hear the confusion in the nurse’s voices, and the fear in my doctor’s. No one was able to give me a straight answer. My mind was literally eating me alive, thinking of all the possibilities. “Would I leave this hospital today? Should I be as worried as I am? Will my daughter be alright?” One thing I was certain about, something wasn’t right.
     My doctor was an old, Cuban man with a heavy Spanish accent. He walked into the room with his khaki slacks and button down shirt, without his typical white lab coat. His facial expression gave it all away. He was the type of person to always make a sarcastic joke about something, but as he walked into the room, he had a serious face. He seemed puzzled. He himself didn’t know what was about to happen. In all his years of being a doctor, he never encountered a situation quite like this one.
He stood at the foot of my bed, hesitated and then said, “The odds of her not making it, are higher than the chances of her actually making it.” I literally felt my heart stop. Everything else in the room became a distant echo. Everything felt frozen in time. For a second, I was completely numb to what he said. I had no emotion. I didn’t know what to say or what to feel. Was this all a horrible dream? Was this really happening to me? He walked out of the room to speak to one of the nurses. Everyone else in the room just stared at me, waiting for a reaction, a reaction that would never come to light.
     Dr. Blanco came back in and explained to me, “We will try our best to stop the labor, and to keep her in as long as possible. If we can stop the labor, I’ll keep you here on bed rest for the rest of your pregnancy, or until I feel that you are not considered high risk.” I thought to myself, “the rest of my pregnancy, on bed rest?! In this hospital? Is he crazy?!” He continued to explain that I was going to be injected with magnesium sulfate, a drug used to stop labor. As he explained the possibilities of the drug not working, the not-so-educated nurse came into my room to inject the magnesium sulfate. Honestly, I was a bit nervous about her doing anything. When I was first admitted into the labor and delivery department, she was the one that was supposed to set up my IV. She pricked and poked me with that damn needle, four times. And if you’ve never had an IV put in, once is painful enough, let alone four times. As the nurse injected the medicine into my IV, it felt like hot lava was running slowly through my veins. It reminded me of the movie Twilight, and how being infected with their venom was supposed to burn through your veins. But I wasn’t turning into a vampire; I was going through pre-term labor.
Maybe turning into a vampire would have been easier.
     That night felt like the longest night of my life. I tossed and turned, and didn’t get one moment of rest. Being sick and in labor was no easy ride. The contractions were unbearable and unstoppable, like a runaway freight train. Every few minutes, another contraction would strike down like a lighting bolt through my body. I cringed and held on tightly to the bed rails, as if that was going to help. Nothing helped! Being thirsty and hungry didn’t help either. The last thing I ate was a warm, delicious Cuban sandwich with a cafĂ© con leche made just the way I like it, light and sweet. I was lucky to have eaten that, because my doctor instructed me not to eat anything before going to the hospital. That was over twelve hours ago! Now, I was only allowed to have ice chips. Who the hell wants to eat ice chips?! I wanted a real meal with a tall, cold glass of anything, but no, I got damn ice chips. The thought of throwing the ice bucket at the nurses ran through my mind over and over again. Asking them if that’s what they wanted to eat after starving for 12 hours. Through out my frustrations, the sound of my daughter’s heartbeat on the monitor calmed me down, and kept me sane. As long as her little heart was beating, she was okay, so I was okay.


    
     

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Cry me a river, bxtch.

Let me start by saying, this is in no way directed to someone specifically. This is something that I've felt very strongly about for a long time.

Let the venting begin.....

I've never understood why girls like to constantly NAG & COMPLAIN about their boyfriends, but still remain in a relationship with them. If they were as bad as you claim them to be, then why the FXCK are you still with them?! To top it off, you publicize it all over Facebook, like any of your friends give a damn. You're making yourself look so STUPID cause all u talk about is how "bad" your boyfriend is but you're still with him. Either stop putting your problems on FB OR break up with the "no-good" asshole. Like seriously, it's enough with the bullshxt already. Go get a fucking counselor, please. Thanks !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, December 30, 2011

lord, protect me from my friends, i can take care of my enemies

Now and days you can't really trust anyone. Sadly however, you can trust your enemies to not surprise you with betrayal and back-stabbing. You know for a fact where they stand in your life. With "friends", you never really know what they're going to do. You never know what exactly they're capable of. One moment they're in your face, laughing with you, the next, they're fucking your boyfriend/girlfriend or talking about you behind your back. The more someone knows about you, the more ammo you're giving them to use against you. Friendships used to be so easy. Now, people are so insecure and jealous, the envy eats away at them.

Lord, protect me from my "friends", i can take care of my enemies...

dysfunctional relationships

now i KNOW you have all seen those ppl that are in a relationship and are always flip-flopping back and forth. like WTF is up with that ?! one second yall are happy as can be [supposedly] and the next, you're posting shxt on FB saying some dramatic bullshxt about being single and blah blah blah  and then a second later, you love ur "baby" lmao!! people, you make yourself look psycho !!! seriously, STOP IT !!! if you guys spend MORE time breaking up or fighting than actually together, happily, then please spare ur FB friends the bullshxt and end the "relationship". You're wasting your time and making yourself seem crazy, for no reason. If the relationship is worth it, you wouldn't be on such a rocky path. lets be for real !! lol

OHHH, and don't even get me started with the desperate people that "love" each other over night -___- seriously?! like are you really that desperate to be in love that you've convinced yourself that this person is the one and you're in love with them in less than a  week ?!!?
-sighs- lord please give you some brains, cause you apparently don't have ANYYYYY !!!

FIRST of all, there is NO WAY possible, to fall in love with someone so quickly. you hardly even know the person for who they REALLY are. people like you ruin relationships. you're so EAGER to fall in love that you suffocate the other person. SMH

Relationship Tip#1...good, strong relationships start off slowly and most of the time, as friends. [where you know the person in and out and accept their mistakes and downfalls.]
Relationship Tip#2...nobody wants a psycho, clingy stalker as a girlfriend/boyfriend. [ let a bxtch breath ]
Relationship Tip#3...before you can love ANYONE ELSE, you must love yourself FIRST !!

xOxo

Saturday, December 10, 2011

the "Facebook" slut

One time for all those guys that are in "relationships" and "love" their girl but are steady hitting up other bxtchs tryna "get to know them" pffft lmfaoo WTF is wrong with yall?! Like, seriously yall make me laugh. Sometimes i actually wanna forward those type of messages to the "girlfriends" so they can see you for the real creep that you are [SMH] Lucky for you tho, i don't wanna get mixed into that bullshxt drama, so keep it moving. If i don't respond to you're messages and you get deleted from my page, now you know why lmao! i don't associate with YOUR KIND !

ADIOS!!

Ignorance at its BEST

The other day my grandmother and I got into an argument about tattoos. For those of you who know me know I'm TATTED UP, to say the least [lol] so this argument was a touchy subject for me. She started saying how ppl with tattoos aren't educated. [i literally wanted to stop the car and slap her lol] I know times were completely different back in her days, but to say that ppl with tattoos are not educated is ignorant and insulting !!! Tattoos have NOTHING to do with a person's intelligence. I have seen doctors, lawyers, cops, and many other "educated" ppl with tattoos and apparently their careers prove that they are educated. So i told her that, and she continued on about how trashy it is and blah blah blah. I cut her off and told her okay so you see it has NOTHING to do with intelligence. My point was proven. SMH

If he does it once, he'll do it again...

I've never understood why girls put up with being "punching bags". I've witnessed it up close and man can it get UGLY. [SMH] I always wondered what was going through those girl's minds, wondered why they stayed, wondered what sappy excuses they'd come up with to explain the situation. All and all, it's never right for a "man" to put his hands a woman. If he supposedly "loved" you, even a little bit, he wouldn't do anything to hurt you, physically or emotionally. And best believe, if he does it once and you stay with him, it'll be a never ending cycle. Staying with someone like that is pretty much giving them permission to do it again and again and it will only gets worse! Seriously, I doubt you want to end up in a hospital or even worse dead, because you "love" him. Don't be stupid, listen to your mind, not your heart. Fuck love, love'll get you killed [real shxt]

To those of you who are "women beaters", do the world a favor and KILL YOURSELF. Just remember karma's a bitch. If you wouldn't want something like that to happen to your mother, sister or daughter, why the fuck would you do it?! Be a REAL man and treat the women in your life right.